Blonde moment

[Dak]

A blonde gets a job as a teacher.. wow this is funny already lol


She notices a boy in the field, standing alone.


All the other kids are running around, having fun.


She takes pity on him, and wanders over to talk to him.


"You OK?" she says..


"Yeah" he says...


"You know you can go and play with the other kids if you like" she says..


"No, best if I stay here" he says..


"Why? Are you being bullied?" she says..


"No" he says...


"I'm the goalie...."

[Dak]

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.




They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, 'Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building.'




The Mexican opened his lunch box and Exclaimed,' Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too.'




The blonde opened his lunch and said,  ' Sausage again! If I get a sausage sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too.'




The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death..




The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.




The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the sausage sandwich and jumped to his death as well.




At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, 'If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!'




The Mexican's wife also wept and said, 'I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much.'




Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,



'Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch.' 

[Mara]

Oh dod, I especially loved the second one!!!  Too funny and thanks for sharing these, Dak!

[Mitz]

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?

10
1 to change the light bulb
And 9 to turn the chair

 

[Solracnas]

HA!! That was too good..But if I get a salad one more time...

[woodyblade]

Hehehe love the second one

Here's one to add...

A plane is on its way to Detroit when a blonde woman in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section.

The flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must sit in economy class because that's the type of ticket she paid for.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."

After repeated attempts and no success at convincing the woman to move, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-piolet that there's a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat. The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, "I'm blonde, I'm beatiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."

The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde." He goes back to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry," then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

"I told her first class isn't going to Detroit."

[Solracnas]

i think its like myself.